Every Day Ass Holes: a rant about service and those who make it a chore

I will say this as a caveat to this post: If you are an ass hole in public, this post will offend you. Hopefully, it’ll help you change your ways.


With that said, I am SO goddamn sick of having to deal with people who don’t understand simple concepts like courtesy and manners.

The last four days in a row, I’ve seen the exact same man sit in my café for longer than the shift I work. He buys one thing, and then loiters all day long. Not only does this man sit there, but he also hacks and coughs and does not cover his mouth. The napkins he wipes his face with litter his germ ridden table long after he’s gone, because everyone is afraid they’ll get TB from touching his table after he has left.

If you can’t go five minutes without coughing your lungs up, do NOT sit in public for six hours straight. Spare everyone the anxiety of being around you, and just stay home. Or better yet, go to the doctor so the coughing isn’t a problem anymore. This is absolutely as serious as it gets. We do not need a revival of the plague because you can’t make your coffee at home for a couple days. STAY HOME.

Another thing you should really understand before entering a social situation is that there are norms in every situation. If you’re in a public place waiting for service, the social norm in the United States is to form a single-file line. Don’t budge, don’t form your own line, and don’t spend your entire time in the line on your phone and then take up 5 minutes at the register deciding what you want. It’s supposed to run as a smooth system where I ask you what you would like, give a couple suggestions, and you go on your merry way so the next person has a chance to do the same. By being discourteous, you’re wasting your own time, my time, and every person in the line’s time. This really has a lot to do with distractions that are new to the 21st century, like smart phones. STAY OFF OF THEM IN LINE. You are there to be served, and if you’re not paying attention to me, I can’t ask you the questions I need to ask in order to serve you.

Listen, I get it. You have a demanding life, one that calls for you to be constantly flipping through Facebook or looking at the latest Groupon deal, but knock it off. Get out of my line if you don’t have the time to waste waiting or paying attention, you obviously have more important things to do.

Manners are so important, and there is not enough description in the world that could explain how many more people need to work on theirs. Please and thank you go a long way. Saying, “Could I please have…” works a hell of a lot better than, “I need,” or “Get me…” Seriously. I get paid too little to deal with people not thanking me for anything, ever.

This also goes along with tipping. If you’re getting $25 or more of food from me, and you watch me ring you up, cook your food, bring it to your table, bus your table, and clean up after you, TIP. Honestly, if you went to a restaurant like Applebee’s or Chili’s and ordered two meals, there would be no chance you would walk out without leaving a tip. At my cafe, I do the work of all of the employees by myself, one with one or two other people at maximum. I have said it before, and I will stand by it forever, baristas deserve tips. They earn tips. They handcraft your drink from scratch literally every single time you order. Every time any person orders, the drink starts from square one. Tip your barista and tell them “Thank you,” because they work dang hard to make your drink delicious each time you come in and get a triple shot medium extra hot no foam vanilla caramel skinny latte in a large cup.

The service industry is rough, and every day it seems like you see a new kind of crazy. Don’t be the one I write about next time, and remember to not be a dick.


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